Am I Really Cut Out To Be A Doctor? (Doubts and Reassurance)

This week in BTMD has been an eye-opening week to say the least. We are in the 2nd module of the program, Biochemistry, and it has been very overwhelming. Two students dropped out of the program and a couple more are thinking about it. As I tried to encourage the ones who were contemplating making a run for it while they can still get some type of a refund, I ended up having a moment of doubt myself. Here is why...

On 2 quizzes this week, I made very stupid errors that cost me precious points that go towards my final grade. The first one involved a Punnett Square and an x-linked dominant trait where the Father was the carrier (or affected individual) and mother was healthy. I easily put 2 and 2 together to figure out that 2 girls who each receive an X from Dad will have the disease. After all, Dad only has 1 X to give since he is a male (xy) and it's a diseased X. Being that it is dominant, the girls will be heterozygous and automatically be affected. The boys don't get an X from Dad though. They only get Y and they get nice healthy Xs from Mom. So no boys are affected. I read the choices and see 50% of girls get disease and all boys are normal. Half of the Punnet Square is 50% right? So, there's my answer. I didn't even realize that there was a better answer that stated "all girls are affected and all boys are normal." There goes an easy point. Womp womp!

Now today I figure out a ratio for velocity of an enzyme reaction. I do the math and messed up my whole answer by putting (20)x(10)=30 in the numerator. One simple error had a domino effect on my whole math, costing me yet another point that I pretty much had but threw away. SMH

After today's error I was so down. I had to come to my blog to write out my thoughts and get them off my chest. I asked myself, "Am I really cut out to be a doctor?" I mean, simple errors can cost someone their life. What if I give a wrong dose to someone because I measured in grams instead of milligrams? What if I overlook someone's age when making a prescription? What if a simple diagnosis could not be made because I missed a key symptom? What if I can't work well under pressure? Can I pass this program? Can I complete medical school? Can I be an excellent doctor? So many what if's and doubts filled up my mind. I gave myself a mental pounding until the rational side of me awoke and said "SNAP OUT OF IT!!!"

Life is about living and learning from your mistakes. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Mistakes are made so that you can learn from them. What have I learned from these mistakes? Take my time to things right. I understand that the tests are timed but I shouldn't have to rush through them either. It's like doctors with patients. You don't want to rush when you're visiting a patient. A good physician/doctor to me is one who takes their time to listen to the patient and analyze everything thoroughly. If you are flooded with patients, then be more efficient with your time. That is what I need to master...efficiency.

I will start another technique of test-taking. Read the questions and answer the ones that I am certain of right away. Anything else that involves calculations will be done and REVIEWED to catch any errors. Sometimes we overanalyze an exam question and it costs us big time. Sometimes we are not efficient enough with how we use our time. Well, I figured it out and I will now go ahead and practice on this. Dr. Phil said it best: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." I've acknowledged my weakness. I will work on it to improve it. I'm looking on the bright side, which is that I do know what I am doing. LOL I just have to make sure that I am more careful and efficient.

Physiology Module Complete! Next up...Biochemistry!

Talk about a heavy load lifted off of my shoulder! Although there is still a lot of weight left, I must say that I am soooooooooo relieved that I got through Physiology with Dr. Lotocki.

Physiology is extremely challenging. I don't know if it's the hardest of the subjects we will will be taking in BTMD but it is the lead contender for the title right about now. Since a lot of my classmates feel the same way that I do, let me share some tips for future students on how to make it through this module.

1. Watch the pre-recorded lectures! Dr. Lotocki provides us access to past lectures before each session. Reviewing this content should be a major priority for you. Watch the videos and take good notes. This way you can be prepared on the day of the actual lecture. You won't feel left behind in the discussion. It is very hard to keep up with all of the information as it is being given to you. While the actual lecture will be recorded for you to review anyways, there is nothing better than having watched it already. Be prepared!

2. BRS for Physiology! This book is everything!! Costanzo takes all of the quick important points from her textbook and summarizes them in this book. She then provides critical thinking practice questions for you to answer. It may be disappointing to get a lot of these answers wrong the first time, but it feels so good to improve your score as time goes on. Practice! Practice! Practice!

3. Make flashcards! I am old fashioned. I purchased index cards at my local dollar store and wrote down all of the equations and concepts that were key to understanding the material. On the bus, eating lunch, right before bed, etc. etc. flashcards were a wonderful tool to have around so I never missed a beat of studying.

4. Purchase a dry erase whiteboard! I don't know about you but I am a tactile learner. I have to be hands on and involved when I am learning. Considering the fact this course is online, it was a bit hard for students who learn like me. I purchased a whiteboard so that I could draw out the concepts after I learned them. I would write an equation or a graph over and over again. Draw, recite, erase. Draw, recite, erase. Repeated this step until I was able to recall everything 100% with no errors.

5. YouTube! If you didn't quite understand what the professor was trying to explain in 3 hours, head over to YouTube and find the explanation in 3 minutes. LOL There are a kazillion videos online to help you understand all types of material. It's FREE! Take advantage!

6. Last but not least, just BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! If you allow yourself to feel defeated, then trust me you will be defeated. I had times where I would break down and cry. But I constantly tell myself that YES! I CAN DO THIS! If you put the work into the course, and most importantly YOURSELF, you can succeed.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Biochemistry begins tomorrow. I will be missing in action again or there won't be consistency in my postings. But have no fear. I will continue to keep you posted on my progress.

Later!