Am I Really Cut Out To Be A Doctor? (Doubts and Reassurance)

This week in BTMD has been an eye-opening week to say the least. We are in the 2nd module of the program, Biochemistry, and it has been very overwhelming. Two students dropped out of the program and a couple more are thinking about it. As I tried to encourage the ones who were contemplating making a run for it while they can still get some type of a refund, I ended up having a moment of doubt myself. Here is why...

On 2 quizzes this week, I made very stupid errors that cost me precious points that go towards my final grade. The first one involved a Punnett Square and an x-linked dominant trait where the Father was the carrier (or affected individual) and mother was healthy. I easily put 2 and 2 together to figure out that 2 girls who each receive an X from Dad will have the disease. After all, Dad only has 1 X to give since he is a male (xy) and it's a diseased X. Being that it is dominant, the girls will be heterozygous and automatically be affected. The boys don't get an X from Dad though. They only get Y and they get nice healthy Xs from Mom. So no boys are affected. I read the choices and see 50% of girls get disease and all boys are normal. Half of the Punnet Square is 50% right? So, there's my answer. I didn't even realize that there was a better answer that stated "all girls are affected and all boys are normal." There goes an easy point. Womp womp!

Now today I figure out a ratio for velocity of an enzyme reaction. I do the math and messed up my whole answer by putting (20)x(10)=30 in the numerator. One simple error had a domino effect on my whole math, costing me yet another point that I pretty much had but threw away. SMH

After today's error I was so down. I had to come to my blog to write out my thoughts and get them off my chest. I asked myself, "Am I really cut out to be a doctor?" I mean, simple errors can cost someone their life. What if I give a wrong dose to someone because I measured in grams instead of milligrams? What if I overlook someone's age when making a prescription? What if a simple diagnosis could not be made because I missed a key symptom? What if I can't work well under pressure? Can I pass this program? Can I complete medical school? Can I be an excellent doctor? So many what if's and doubts filled up my mind. I gave myself a mental pounding until the rational side of me awoke and said "SNAP OUT OF IT!!!"

Life is about living and learning from your mistakes. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Mistakes are made so that you can learn from them. What have I learned from these mistakes? Take my time to things right. I understand that the tests are timed but I shouldn't have to rush through them either. It's like doctors with patients. You don't want to rush when you're visiting a patient. A good physician/doctor to me is one who takes their time to listen to the patient and analyze everything thoroughly. If you are flooded with patients, then be more efficient with your time. That is what I need to master...efficiency.

I will start another technique of test-taking. Read the questions and answer the ones that I am certain of right away. Anything else that involves calculations will be done and REVIEWED to catch any errors. Sometimes we overanalyze an exam question and it costs us big time. Sometimes we are not efficient enough with how we use our time. Well, I figured it out and I will now go ahead and practice on this. Dr. Phil said it best: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." I've acknowledged my weakness. I will work on it to improve it. I'm looking on the bright side, which is that I do know what I am doing. LOL I just have to make sure that I am more careful and efficient.