Am I Really Cut Out To Be A Doctor? (Doubts and Reassurance)

This week in BTMD has been an eye-opening week to say the least. We are in the 2nd module of the program, Biochemistry, and it has been very overwhelming. Two students dropped out of the program and a couple more are thinking about it. As I tried to encourage the ones who were contemplating making a run for it while they can still get some type of a refund, I ended up having a moment of doubt myself. Here is why...

On 2 quizzes this week, I made very stupid errors that cost me precious points that go towards my final grade. The first one involved a Punnett Square and an x-linked dominant trait where the Father was the carrier (or affected individual) and mother was healthy. I easily put 2 and 2 together to figure out that 2 girls who each receive an X from Dad will have the disease. After all, Dad only has 1 X to give since he is a male (xy) and it's a diseased X. Being that it is dominant, the girls will be heterozygous and automatically be affected. The boys don't get an X from Dad though. They only get Y and they get nice healthy Xs from Mom. So no boys are affected. I read the choices and see 50% of girls get disease and all boys are normal. Half of the Punnet Square is 50% right? So, there's my answer. I didn't even realize that there was a better answer that stated "all girls are affected and all boys are normal." There goes an easy point. Womp womp!

Now today I figure out a ratio for velocity of an enzyme reaction. I do the math and messed up my whole answer by putting (20)x(10)=30 in the numerator. One simple error had a domino effect on my whole math, costing me yet another point that I pretty much had but threw away. SMH

After today's error I was so down. I had to come to my blog to write out my thoughts and get them off my chest. I asked myself, "Am I really cut out to be a doctor?" I mean, simple errors can cost someone their life. What if I give a wrong dose to someone because I measured in grams instead of milligrams? What if I overlook someone's age when making a prescription? What if a simple diagnosis could not be made because I missed a key symptom? What if I can't work well under pressure? Can I pass this program? Can I complete medical school? Can I be an excellent doctor? So many what if's and doubts filled up my mind. I gave myself a mental pounding until the rational side of me awoke and said "SNAP OUT OF IT!!!"

Life is about living and learning from your mistakes. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Mistakes are made so that you can learn from them. What have I learned from these mistakes? Take my time to things right. I understand that the tests are timed but I shouldn't have to rush through them either. It's like doctors with patients. You don't want to rush when you're visiting a patient. A good physician/doctor to me is one who takes their time to listen to the patient and analyze everything thoroughly. If you are flooded with patients, then be more efficient with your time. That is what I need to master...efficiency.

I will start another technique of test-taking. Read the questions and answer the ones that I am certain of right away. Anything else that involves calculations will be done and REVIEWED to catch any errors. Sometimes we overanalyze an exam question and it costs us big time. Sometimes we are not efficient enough with how we use our time. Well, I figured it out and I will now go ahead and practice on this. Dr. Phil said it best: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." I've acknowledged my weakness. I will work on it to improve it. I'm looking on the bright side, which is that I do know what I am doing. LOL I just have to make sure that I am more careful and efficient.

Physiology Module Complete! Next up...Biochemistry!

Talk about a heavy load lifted off of my shoulder! Although there is still a lot of weight left, I must say that I am soooooooooo relieved that I got through Physiology with Dr. Lotocki.

Physiology is extremely challenging. I don't know if it's the hardest of the subjects we will will be taking in BTMD but it is the lead contender for the title right about now. Since a lot of my classmates feel the same way that I do, let me share some tips for future students on how to make it through this module.

1. Watch the pre-recorded lectures! Dr. Lotocki provides us access to past lectures before each session. Reviewing this content should be a major priority for you. Watch the videos and take good notes. This way you can be prepared on the day of the actual lecture. You won't feel left behind in the discussion. It is very hard to keep up with all of the information as it is being given to you. While the actual lecture will be recorded for you to review anyways, there is nothing better than having watched it already. Be prepared!

2. BRS for Physiology! This book is everything!! Costanzo takes all of the quick important points from her textbook and summarizes them in this book. She then provides critical thinking practice questions for you to answer. It may be disappointing to get a lot of these answers wrong the first time, but it feels so good to improve your score as time goes on. Practice! Practice! Practice!

3. Make flashcards! I am old fashioned. I purchased index cards at my local dollar store and wrote down all of the equations and concepts that were key to understanding the material. On the bus, eating lunch, right before bed, etc. etc. flashcards were a wonderful tool to have around so I never missed a beat of studying.

4. Purchase a dry erase whiteboard! I don't know about you but I am a tactile learner. I have to be hands on and involved when I am learning. Considering the fact this course is online, it was a bit hard for students who learn like me. I purchased a whiteboard so that I could draw out the concepts after I learned them. I would write an equation or a graph over and over again. Draw, recite, erase. Draw, recite, erase. Repeated this step until I was able to recall everything 100% with no errors.

5. YouTube! If you didn't quite understand what the professor was trying to explain in 3 hours, head over to YouTube and find the explanation in 3 minutes. LOL There are a kazillion videos online to help you understand all types of material. It's FREE! Take advantage!

6. Last but not least, just BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! If you allow yourself to feel defeated, then trust me you will be defeated. I had times where I would break down and cry. But I constantly tell myself that YES! I CAN DO THIS! If you put the work into the course, and most importantly YOURSELF, you can succeed.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Biochemistry begins tomorrow. I will be missing in action again or there won't be consistency in my postings. But have no fear. I will continue to keep you posted on my progress.

Later!

Quiz #2 Going Down Tomorrow...And It's Proctored!

Tomorrow I will be taking my second big exam for this physiology module. I am shooting for a score of 100% on this exam. The pressure is on. Added to this pressure is that this exam will be proctored by ProctorU. In other words, someone will be watching me take this exam from the other side of the cyberworld to make sure that I am not cheating. Can you say/spell PRESSURE?!?!?! LOL I'm trying not to think much about it but it is a bit nerve wracking.

Anywho, my study plan to attain this score of 100% is to do practice questions and demonstrations.

Practice Questions
1. Read the passages and answer the questions.
2. Check my answers to see what I got right or wrong.
3. Explain how I arrived at the right answers.
4. Explain why I got the wrong answers and understand what the right answer is.
5. Repeat steps 1 to 4 until I get everything correct.

Demonstrations (Or more like Illustrations)
1. Draw diagrams, graphs, tables, etc. of each system to be tested.
2. Explain the illustrations to my imaginary friend (or curious nieces LOL) what the illustrations are and the details behind them.
3. Come up with different analogies to make it more interesting. I hear laughter helps you retain information after all. Hahaha! LOL

Alright folks! Time to study away.

My Vision Board Revisited

A few years ago I posted these images of what I would post on my vision board. Now I am only a few months away from making the first image come true. Remember it is not how long it takes for you to accomplish your goals that matters. What matters is the journey and work you put in to making your dreams come true. #onestepatatime #onedayatatime #EMTtoMD #JourneyToMD #medicalschool #BTMD #AUA

What is a vision board?

A vision board is a collage of images, pictures and affirmations of your dreams and desires. It is a powerful visualization tool that activates the universal law of attraction which states that we attract into our lives anything that we give attention to, whether it be positive or negative. Using the law of attraction in a positive sense, a vision board is a simple visual representation of the things you want to have, be, or do in your life. It is a great way to make you feel positive and begin manifesting your dreams into reality.  

From a psychological view, the law of attraction can be best explained by the information filtering system of the brain known as the reticular activating system (RAS). Vision boards serve the role of programming RAS to tune into external stimuli that can help us move closer towards our intentions. It allows you to begin to pull things from your external environment that will enable you to realize your dream. By selecting pictures and writing that charges your emotions with feelings of passion, you will begin to manifest those things into your life. 

Below I have the pictures that I will be focusing on daily on my vision board. Using the vision board concept, this positive law of attraction will open the door of a medical school for me.

Believe & Achieve: The Power of the Mind

We all know the path to medical school isn't easy; nor is the journey through it. Often times you may find people (school counselors, professors, admissions committees, accomplished physicians, family, friends, etc.) who will tell you that your goal is not attainable. They will tell you that you are not fit to be a doctor or that no medical school will accept you or that the process is too hard for you. If you are fed this thoughts too much, you may even start to believe it yourself. You see the amount of work that it will take for you to achieve your goal and feel intimidated. Well, don't underestimate the power of your mind. What you feed yourself will either make or break you.

When I saw the amount of work ahead of me for this BTMD program my head started spinning. LOL The professors made it clear that they have high expectations for my classmates and me. I was looking at this information thinking that this is really tough. The negative thoughts about failure and low grades began to creep me out. I took a moment to myself to get my thoughts back on the right track. I told myself that I am intelligent and very much capable of this. I love medicine. If I take the time to understand as I go along, then I can succeed. I've been a top student almost all of my life. Whatever I put into succeeding in this program is what I will get out of it--SUCCESS!

Let me tell you, my blog readers, that after I gave myself that speech I have been on cruise control. I'm in a state of mind where I feel like I am unstoppable. I am able to explain concepts to classmates and offer study tips. My performance on post-lecture quizzes (we get a quiz after each and every lecture) have been above average. It's crazy.

My first physiology exam is this Sunday. My study plan:
1. YouTube videos. I am a tactile learner. Seeing the lesson in a video where I can apply the concepts to a picture helps me learn a lot.
2. Questions, questions, and more questions. I want to make sure that I understand these chapters inside and out. Practice questions over and over again will help me retain information and prove to myself that I understand it.
3. Reviewing class material. This includes lecture videos, slides, and notes. Understand what the professor wants you to understand and you should do good.

So, remember folks! Believe and achieve. Have faith in yourself. Tune out any outside noise. Focus and accomplish.

The person who says

it cannot be done

should not interrupt

the person doing it.

Chinese Proverb

BTMD Week 1: Orientation Complete

Bridge to MD (BTMD) is a non-degree granting, non-accredited online program and participant who complete the course will not earn academic credit. The program includes interactive lectures, training exercises, and daily assessments. Through an articulation agreement with American University of Antigua (AUA), qualified participants who successfully complete the BTMD program and who otherwise satisfy AUA's requirements for acceptance into AUA's College of Medicine will qualify for admission into the next starting class of AUA's Medical Doctorate Degree program. (Source: AUA BTMD website)

On the week of Sunday, August 21st, 2016, I flew down to Miami for the BTMD Orientation week. During the week I got to meet my professors and classmates (about 30 fellow aspiring physicians). We learned all of the technical aspects about taking the course online and what is expected of us. Lectures took place at the University of Miami, which by the way has an amazingly beautiful campus in Coral Gables. On the first day we took a quiz to assess our knowledge of the subjects that we will be studying-- Neuroanatomy; Physiology; and Biochemistry. Following each lecture, a quiz was given to make sure that we were paying attention during the lectures. Finally, at the end of the week we were given a 2-hour exam covering all 3 subjects and all 3 lectures that we participated in during the week. Whoa! LOL Sounds like a lot right?! Well, it is a lot and I understand why.

The directors of the BTMD program want you to take this program seriously. It is your chance to prove that you can handle the rigors of medical school. What I got out of this orientation week is that in order to succeed in this program, you must manage your time right and keep up with or stay ahead of the program. These courses are no walk in the park. Do not think that you will just read and memorize definitions and diagrams to pass. You must understand the material. The test questions on the quizzes and exams are USMLE type of questions. You are getting a taste of medical school here. Hence if you do not like what you experienced during orientation week, then make a u-turn and get off this bridge. If you know that you will dedicate your time and resources to this program, then keep on walking. Again, just make sure that you keep up. What's my decision? I will continue the program.Why? Keep on reading.

During orientation week, the professors made me feel like I knew them forever. They showed me that they care. I called Dr. Lotocki at damn near midnight and he answered his phone with no signs of annoyance. He responded to my emails almost immediately. Dr. Smith was the first professor I met and he walked me to the lecture hall. His sense of humor is out of this world. I wasn't feeling well during the whole orientation week and it got really bad on the day of the exam. He came over to me, called me by my first name (a big deal for me since the class is quite large), and asked me if I was okay. That meant a lot to me. Finally, Dr. Jimsheleishvili, who is new to the program but know's so much in neuroanatomy, was so open to suggestions. If we didn't understand something, he took his time to explain as best as he could. He, too, reassured us that he will be readily available with appointments made.

All in all, this program has what I need to succeed. I understand that I am being held to a high standard and I will work hard to meet those standards. I know that it won't be easy. However, I also know that when you put your heart and effort into something, you can succeed. My study regimen includes reading the chapters according to the syllabus; watching videos of last semester's lectures before each class; and reviewing the lecture slides along with the completed lecture video of the day's class. Sure it sounds like a lot but that is what medical school is all about. Absorbing and understanding a high volume of information by being prepared and staying on top of your work.

Physiology block starts continues tomorrow. And the journey across the Bridge to MD continues...

Arriving at and Crossing the Bridge to MD

After knocking on so many doors, one finally decided to open for me. But when I opened it there was a bridge behind it. A bridge that will ultimately lead me to the Caribbean if I decide to cross it. The toll to cross this bridge is high. A hefty price tag of ~$12,000 and there is no EZ pass or express lane to help you through it. You have to find the money and motivation to make it across. The stakes were high. I had so many questions, doubts, and fears. I searched online for others who made it across safely. After chatting with a couple of students, I made up my mind. I made my deposit for the American University of Antigua Bridge to MD Program without looking back. My focus was no longer on what was behind me. Instead it was on what lay ahead of me.

If you landed on this page/blog, then most likely you, too, are considering this program or school. Well, take my hand and come along with me as I cross this bridge. Learn from my accomplishments and mistakes. 

See you later!